What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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