In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
