lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I could make wine with my vomit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
