And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
