Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
