whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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