I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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