The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
