so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
