Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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