Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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