How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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