I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
vagina is talking i cant
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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