That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
