I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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