Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
