Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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