apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
