I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my shit smells like andre
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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