so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
