Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
