Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
