this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
