Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
