he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
