actually, I'm a sock model
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
