So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
