why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
