toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he wants to bone in the snuggie
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
