She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
