Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My pussy is not your playground.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize