I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You work out of a Hotel?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
