jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize