I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am full of burrito and curiosity
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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