Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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