your parents love me but you hate me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
