There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
