This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
