whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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