I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
