he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize