I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
