i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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