pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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