I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
