i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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