Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
