I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
