you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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