the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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