Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
