dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
