Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
