im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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