I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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