Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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