A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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