Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
