peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
