so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
