Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
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