another moral hangover. fuck.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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