The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize